Sunday, November 13, 2005

I watched the 5566 mtv the Tou Xin I love you de MTV again today. After watching it, I found out my urge, my urge to dance.
I always loved dancing but last time I wasn't confident enough plus the girl (let's called her W ) W always SHOWED OFF her dancing skills to me, I concluded after one year, is not great at all. Well, I don't blame her, she's not a Jing Ying. She never learnt dancing before.
Regarding this W, there's a story between me and her. I thought she was a great girl at the first day i knew her, but things proved wrong. She was a baddy, she scolded vulgar words. Not bad enough? She wasn't the "bad" you all refer to like smoking and truant all that. Maybe I shouldn't say her bad, I should termed her as ....... I dunnoe. Why dun I tell the story first....
At first, we sat beside each other in maths lesson in sec one. She was really a great fren. We always chatted with each other in class. Yet as time goes, she talked to me more and more. I wanted to listened to my lessons but i didn't dare to ask her to shut up because i'm scared. In the end, we often got scolded by our maths teacher.
She told me how many ppl confessed to her and tell her they liked her, and she always asked me wat to do when i didnt have any experience. Wat do u wan me to do? I was uneasy abt the fact that she kept saying the ppl said they liked her.
U must think she's quite a beauty. Ummm, many ppl said that she's pretty, but from my personal view, from the first day i met her, i never labeled her as pretty or beautiful or chio BEFORE. Not even now. Cos i know who she is , what she is , and why i didnt label her as beautiful.
I wouldnt say she's totally bad. She was just....herself. But whenever i'm with her, i felt pressurised. I couldnt say what i wanted to say. If i say anything wrong, she will POUR bad words on me, which made me veri veri veri embarrassed.
This yr, she told me she already quitted cursing. I thought i can believe her again, but the next minute she scolded me ji bai. I was like three lines dropping down my head. This made me even disappointed.
When i'm with her, she always snatched the attention from me. I'm also a girl. I wanted the attention that belonged to me. I also want guys to look at me ma...Which girl doesnt? But she snatched all of it. Even though i can't blamed her for that, but i hate that feeling. It's like i'm non-existence and I HATED to be treated as air. Being with her only made me lose my confidence day by day. That's why i've nv went out with her to faraway places before. She asked me out before, but i didn't want to. And also if i go out with her, she will critisise my clothings. During that time, i loved to wear skirts ma. And she said it in front of me:" I can't imagine U wearing a skirt!"
She told me i was her best friend, but i've nv termed her as mine. That's one side only. I didn't made her my best friend because she wasn't worth it. I think she doesn't even know what are best friends. Best friends don't resort to verbal abuse. Best friends care for each other. Best friends dun hurl at each other. WE ARE NOT BEST FRIENDS AT ALL!!!
I won't say that i have nothing wrong at all. I am wrong sometimes.
This yr, when i'm back with Yanni and i know Yanni is my best friend. (but sometimes i just cant resist wanting to make her angry, hahaha) Yanni is a realli pro in sa jiao. Then W saw it, and told me in secret:" I pity u leh. Got to stand this person for the whole year."
She said it because she know i can't stand gers acting cute. But i can say, i can change my attitude towards acting cute for Yanni. Because Yanni is worth it.
After she said that statement, i was thinking:" at least i'm happier with yanni, pr and lee teng."
Haiz, I realli dunno wat to say abt her. Sometimes she's such an angel yet sometimes she's a devil.

Lifeis a mixture of simplicity and messiness,I call it fantasy
6:26 PM